Me:
I’m a hopeless case. I just can’t make my dream of becoming a trader come true. I don’t always mess things up, but then comes that cursed trade that I’m sure should go my way, and instead it doesn’t. Against all logic, every candle tells me the direction I read is right, but the price keeps moving against me. It’s like it knows I’m in the trade. This keeps happening, and I’m really exhausted.
Coach:
Ah, here it is. The infamous all-knowing market that spies on you through the keyhole, waits for you to get in… and then changes direction just for the fun of screwing you over.
Yeah, yeah, I know: probably at Wall Street HQ there’s a giant screen with your name flashing and as soon as you open a position, the alarm goes off:
“ALERT: HE’S IN! REVERSE NOW!”
Jokes aside… sit down with me for a moment. Picture yourself on a bench, under a tree. Me with my imaginary white beard, you with that grumpy look on your face. Let me tell you, with heart and a pinch of irony: you’re not a hopeless case. You’re a… normal case.
A young climber tried to scale the wall every morning.
He prepared carefully, studied the holds, pulled himself up… yet every now and then he slipped.
Then he blamed the rock, the ropes, even his boots.
The master stopped him and said:
“It’s not the rock that pushes you back. It’s your fear of never falling.”
Let’s take a look at what happens in your moments of frustration:
You say that “against all logic” the price goes the wrong way… But what kind of logic are we talking about?
You say you’re “sure” it should move in a certain direction… And I ask you this:
Do you need more to be right, or to be profitable?
Because the trader who wants to be right… gets wrecked. The one who accepts being wrong… survives.
Finally, an important thought:
You’re not tired of trading. You’re tired of the inner struggle.
That voice inside saying, “I have to make it,” “I can’t fail,” “if I lose, it’s my fault.”
But the market is not a judge. It doesn’t reward or punish you. It’s just a playing field. And every now and then… you lose.
Me:
Wait a second, I don’t want to be right. What I’m saying is that some candles do tell me something about the price direction. Other times they trick me, and I know I’m the problem. I tell myself: “Okay, dear reversal candle, like so many other times I want to believe you”… and then it doesn’t work out.
I let it breathe for a moment, thinking maybe the move is just delayed… but instead, it doesn’t work, and the same thing repeats over and over.
I know very well I shouldn’t give it that breathing space — my stop has to be rigid.
Coach:
It’s not about wanting to be right. It’s about listening to the candles as if they were oracles… and sometimes they tell true stories, other times nothing but well-crafted lies. And you, being a sensitive reader, believe them — with all your good faith.
But tell me:
If an actor plays his part well, does that make the character real?
No, he’s just good at deceiving.
And so it is with candles: marvelous actresses on a stage called the market.
They show you the plot of a reversal, the tension of a breakout, the twist in the story… And you, an engaged spectator, react.
But the market, my friend, is no movie. It’s more like a stray cat: just when you think you’ve figured it out, it scratches you and runs away ????????
Now… here we touch on something very interesting: intuition vs. system.
You say:
“I know my stop has to be rigid… but I give it some room to breathe…”
And I answer, with affection but without sugarcoating:
Who’s really trading here? Your plan… or your hope?
Because you see, the problem isn’t the lying candle.
The problem is that when it looks sincere, you change the rules for it.
Like in those toxic relationships where you say:
“This time it will be different…”
Non devi smettere di ascoltare le candele. Ma devi decidere PRIMA se la loro voce ha peso nel tuo sistema.
What’s the fear that makes you “give your stop a little more room”?
Is it the fear of missing that one opportunity?
Or the fear of watching a move slip away — the one you knew you had read right?
Me:
The fear that pushes me to move my stop is seeing the price go in my direction after I’ve already wasted time losing.
In that moment, I know I get pissed off — watching the price move my way after I’ve exited makes me tilt.
Coach:
The great nemesis of every trader:
“The price went in my direction AFTER I got out!”
A classic horror movie, but with you as both the victim and the director
But let me tell you something, with all my imaginary beard and a glass of wisdom in hand:
It’s not the market that makes you tilt.
It’s the “I can’t stand having waited for nothing.”
It’s like going on a date, standing in the rain, waiting for hours… and then the person shows up the moment you leave.
Pure frustration.
But you know what’s absurd?
You didn’t really want the date. You wanted control over the time you spent.
Let me tell you a little zen story, the way I like them:
A samurai asked a master:
“How can I not get angry when I lose?”
The master smiled and replied:
“You only lose when you believe that everything you give… must come back to you.”
In trading, nothing is owed to you. Not even the time you invested.
The market doesn’t give back what you waited for. It gives what you can take — if you stick to your rules.
The real tilt doesn’t come from the loss.
It comes from that part of you that feels humiliated because “you were right”… but the trade still got stopped out.
And so… you move the stop.
Why?
Because you think:
“Better to risk more than to face that unbearable feeling again.”
But stop for a moment. Breathe.
Let me tell you this, from Coach to weary warrior:
It’s better to take a loss you accept than a win you get by breaking your rules.
Because if you win by moving the stop, you haven’t gained a trade.
You’ve lost trust in yourself.
And that, my friend… is the true currency of a trader. ????
Would you be up for trying, for one week, to never touch your stop and write down what happens (emotionally, not just financially)?
Me:
“Better to risk more than to face that feeling again” — that’s exactly what a part of my brain keeps repeating like a mantra.
Coach:
You’ve just unmasked the invisible puppeteer pulling the strings while you think you’re in control.
That sly, refined, almost persuasive little voice…
“Come on, just this once… move the stop a little…
Better to risk more… than to feel that unbearable frustration again…”
Do you hear it? It’s a part of you. But it’s not you.
It’s your wounded ego, your emotional brain that hates losing more than it loves winning.
And do you know why it’s so powerful?
Because it’s right about one thing:
Frustration really does hurt.
Let me tell you a little circus parable:
There was a man who was afraid of monkeys. Every time he saw one, he screamed and ran away.
One day, during a show, he was brought on stage where there was a covered cage.
The presenter said:
“Inside is the fiercest monkey that exists. Do you want to face it?”
The man trembled. But when the cloth was lifted…
The cage was empty.
The presenter told him:
“It’s been in there all along. Only, it lives in your head.”
That’s how your fear of that feeling is: it’s not the market that inflicts it.
It’s your own judgment about what should happen.
Now, back to us.
This part of your brain that says, “risk more rather than suffer”…
is like a toxic friend: it comforts you, but then it ruins you.
And so the real warrior’s act is not moving the stop.
It’s staying there. Feeling the discomfort. And not moving.
???? Finally, a little coach-zen paradox:
“Every time you move the stop to avoid suffering…
you’re choosing a slower wound, but a deeper one.”
“Every time you respect it… you suffer quickly. But you heal faster.”
You’re already halfway across the bridge, my friend.
You’ve given a name to your inner demon.
Now you don’t have to fight it…
You just have to watch it — without following it.
Me:
There’s one thing I don’t understand: I’ve been trading for four years, and I’ve been repeating these same mistakes for over two. The more I realize that I actually know how to trade, the heavier these mistakes feel , and I just can’t explain why.
Coach:
Because these are no longer technical mistakes. They’re inner betrayals.
???? You’re not fighting with analysis.
You’re fighting with a part of yourself that keeps sabotaging what you’ve already understood.
It’s as if you’ve built a magnificent mental castle:
Strategy ✔️
Rules ✔️
Pattern recognition ✔️
Context ✔️
…and then, right at the last second, a crazy little gnome in your brain screams:
????️ “NOOO! MOOOVE THE STOP!! WHAT IF IT GOES YOUR WAY, HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!”
And you, even though you know it’s an unhinged little gnome, believe him.
Again.
And again.
???? I get it. It hurts.
It hurts because you know that you know.
And so you feel stupid, frustrated, chained.
But now, sit with me for a second, under our usual tree, and let me say this:
It’s not stupidity. It’s emotional conditioning.
It’s your brain that has created a loop:
➡️ “Mistake → frustration → compensation → new mistake.”
???? Let me tell you the story of an old musician:
He had studied music for twenty years. Impeccable composer. Perfect ear.
But every so often, during concerts…
…he always missed the same note.
And you know when?
When he knew everything was going well.
The master told him:
????️ “It’s your unconscious that doesn’t accept the idea of deserving perfection.”
???? And what if I told you that your mistakes are no longer technical errors, but unconscious defenses against the responsibility of success?
That the closer you get to mastery, the more a part of you is afraid to say:
“Now that I truly know what I’m doing… I can’t blame the market anymore.”
Because from that point on… it’s you.
And this is a sacred moment.
Painful, but sacred.
You are crossing the threshold that separates those who try… from those who accept becoming truly skilled.
???? What can you do?
Stop calling them “stupid mistakes.”
Call them by their real name: rooted emotional patterns.
And like every habit, they don’t break with judgment, but with conscious observation.
Every time you feel the urge to move the stop, pause for 30 seconds.
Not to do anything. Just to feel the urge.
Sit with it. Breathe. Write it down.
✍️ “I’m feeling the urge to move the stop because _____________.”
Don’t judge the fact that it happens.
Judge only whether you respected your plan. The rest is noise.
???? The real goal now isn’t to become better. You already are.
Your task now is to become more integrated.
More aligned with yourself.
You know what to do.
Your work is to make peace with the part of you that’s afraid of succeeding.
Me:
Thanks, coach. Now I’m going to dig into my deepest, most ingrained emotional patterns.